These six tips will show how to get your kids on track with their schoolwork and lay the foundation for good study habits.
By Mali Anderson Dodging homework, being baffled by an assignment, and procrastinating on projects to play instead are hallmarks of childhood, but good study habits are the foundation for academic success. Homework underscores concepts already taught at school, and making schoolwork a part of daily life is essential to achieving high goals. "Homework reinforces learning, develops responsibility and builds commitment to one's education. Remember, practice makes perfect," says Meline Kevorkian, Ed.D., author of Six Secrets for Parents to Help Their Kids Achieve in School. With the following guidelines, you can keep homework avoidance to a minimum and get your kids moving toward better study habits and better grades (like straight As!). Pick a Consistent Time Establish regular homework time to increase the likelihood that it will get done. Of course, this schedule will vary for each child; some kids need to get study time in as soon as they get home and others may work better after they've eaten. For many families, there are after-school commitments to consider as well. Does your child need to do homework before soccer, because she's too tired afterward? Or do extracurricular activities enable her to have more energy to sit still and focus later? Some families may find one set time each day is essential for homework completion; others may find it best to utilize time blocks between activities if daily agendas changes. Notice what works for your child and your family's schedules, then make a plan and stick to it. Designate a Study Spot When creating a study area, consider your child's needs. Some kids have to be alone in their own rooms; others may prefer to work at the kitchen table as the family bustles around them. Whatever spot you decide on, set your child up for success by stocking the work area with necessary supplies. For younger kids, start with blank paper, crayons, pencils, and pencil sharpeners. As your child gets older, add lined paper, pens, a dictionary and thesaurus, and any other essentials. If a child requires technology, a laptop or tablet may be helpful, but computers can be a distraction, so set them aside if they're not absolutely necessary. If your child is using her own desk, keep all the supplies stored in drawers or on shelves; if your child is in a communal area, use a tote or organizing bins to ensure homework supplies won't get lost. Set a ScheduleOnce you've selected the time and study area, let your child decide the order in which he will complete assignments. Giving him control over the homework routine will allow the process to develop into an enjoyable pattern rather than a dreaded obligation. If he needs guidance, suggest that he tackle the more challenging homework first; if he loves to read, have him start with the math homework to get it out of the way. Once the arithmetic is done, he can then tackle the reading assignment. Although setting up a schedule and then handing the responsibility of maintaining it to the child is ideal, maintain some flexibility in case the schedule doesn't work out. Check after a week or two to make sure the schedule is being followed, and be open to making any modifications to ensure success. Give Enough SpaceAs tempting as it is to hover over your child as she studies, give her breathing room. It can be helpful to stay close, in case a question arises, but work on your own tasks instead, whether cooking dinner or reading. Once the homework is completed, make time to look it over. When doing this, remember that assisting with an individual error or pointing out an unanswered question can be helpful, but doing homework for a child is not. Instead, be attuned to the progress being made and the areas of study need improvement. "Reviewing homework is essential and encourages children to share what they found difficult," Dr. Kevorkian says. "Encourage your child to tell you what was challenging." If you notice a serious weakness, contact your child's teacher. Let Kids Take ResponsibilityA child may feel that homework is too hard or that too much research is required, but an experienced instructor has reasons for assigning certain materials. In school, kids learn to assume responsibility for their education. If a child has trouble understanding a concept, steer him toward asking the teacher first for help. If the teacher explains that an increase in homework is needed to excel in higher grades, this may be enough to motivate a child. But if a child continues to complain about homework, make time to speak with the teacher yourself. At the conference, stay calm and be open to hearing the teacher's side of the story. "Don't make education a battleground," says Resa Fogel, Ph.D., a child psychologist in Teaneck, New Jersey. "It sets the wrong tone for learning." With the right routine, studying can become an integral and peaceful part of your child's daily life. Give Praise for Hard WorkOnce homework is done, be sure to congratulate you child's efforts. Offering words of encouragement for small achievements and rewards for large projects can have a lasting effect on a student's relationship to her studies. Applauding a child's willingness to work is essential in developing her academic confidence. "For elementary [school]-aged children, get them excited about finishing their work by following [it] with a fun activity. When they are finished, praise them for their hard work and dedication," Dr. Kevorkian suggests. As a child becomes more able to complete work on her own, she will be more likely to begin doing homework without parental prompting.
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Your child is more capable than you realize. Even your preschooler can begin to learn these essential life lessons.
By Michelle Crouch from Parents Magazine With so much for our children to learn in today’s high-tech world, it’s all too easy for them to miss out on practical life skills, whether it’s running a load of wash, reading a map, or handwriting a letter. A recent study by the online security company AVG Technologies found that while 58 percent of 3- to 5-year-olds in the U.S. can navigate a smartphone, fewer than one out of six (15 percent) could make their own breakfast. “I see many parents doing everything for their kids instead of letting them figure out how to fend for themselves,” says Tim Elmore, founder of Growing Leaders, a nonprofit in Norcross, Georgia, that works with schools and civic groups to promote leadership qualities in children. Start teaching these life skills now, and put your kid on the path toward independence. 1. Doing the LaundryToo many teens head to college with no clue how to clean their clothes. Don’t let your kid become one of them. You can begin teaching your child when she is around 6. If you have a top-loading washer, keep a step stool nearby. Walk her through the process—how to measure and add the detergent, choose the settings, and start the machine. Amy Mascott, who blogs at TeachMama.com, taught her three kids (now 9, 10, and 12). She chose cute names for jobs: Wash Warrior, Super-Fly Dry Guy, Put ’Em Away Triple Play. Mascott says there have been snafus, like the time a whole load was folded and put away damp. “But I’m not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for them to get the job done,” she says. 2. Planting a SeedlingLots of preschoolers learn to plant seeds in class but not how to transfer sprouts into a garden. Whitney Cohen, coauthor of The Book of Gardening Projects for Kids, shares the basics.
4. Hammering a Nail
6. Preparing a Simple MealInvite your child to help make meals, assign him jobs to do, and stay calm when the flour spills and the eggshells fly, says Christina Dymock, a mom of four and author of Young Chefs. Yogurt with fruit is a good first DIY breakfast. Preschoolers can spoon yogurt into a bowl and add prewashed cut-up fruit. Work with kids 5 and older on making sandwiches and smoothies (monitor the blender closely). Around age 7 or 8, your kid can try toaster-oven faves like English-muffin pizza, or make a simple salad by ripping lettuce, dumping in croutons, and cutting up tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. By age 10, kids can use the stovetop with supervision for a grilled-cheese sandwich. Focus on safety and practice, and you might just have a MasterChef Junioron your hands. 7. NavigatingIf you’ve ever gotten lost following a GPS’s turn-by-turn voice directions, you know why being able to read a map is essential (even if it’s one on your phone). These activities will build your child’s navigational skills.
9. Cleaning the BathroomKeep rags or a sponge handy for wiping toothpaste blobs off the sink. Toilet duties require greater skill. School-age kids can clean the lid, seat, and base with a disinfecting wipe. Make sure they wash their hands thoroughly afterward. Big kids can scrub the bowl with a nontoxic cleaner: Sprinkle the sides with baking soda, let it sit for a few minutes, pour in some vinegar, then scrub with a toilet brush. 10. Comparison ShoppingTeaching kids to be smart consumers takes practice. This three-step approach worked for our family:
By Kara Corridan
1. Children need a social-media mentor, someone in the know who can help them navigate the right way to behave online. Ideally, that would be a teacher or a librarian. But as keynote speaker Mega M. Subramaniam, Ph.D., explained, teachers and librarians rarely have the opportunity to guide our kids in that way, because school and public computers automatically filter out all social media sites. Of course, there's a good reason for that. But I hadn't thought of the downside until Dr. Subramaniam pointed it out. She's the associate director of Information Policy and Access Center at the University of Maryland, and runs several social media literacy programs for tweens, and she suggests that in place of a trusted adult, find an older teen your child looks up to--a cousin, a babysitter, a camp counselor--who's demonstrated responsibility online, and have that person help show him the ropes. 2. There's a value to texting, even among younger kids. Julia is dying to text with her friends. I'm not allowing it. I feel it's pointless--what on earth is there to text about when you're in fourth grade?--and I fear it'll erode her writing and spelling skills. But more than that, I worry that texting merely provides her with another avenue to see (or do) something inappropriate or rude. The panelists agreed that 9 is a little young, but they gave me ideas on how to allow it in a controlled way when I eventually do let her text. Stay away from group texts, suggested Orit Goldhamer, Psy.D., a middle-school psychologist at The Churchill School in NYC. Otherwise Julia will get sucked into a thread of neverending emojis and "Hey"s. And let her start out by texting only to plan get-togethers (I almost called them playdates!), as opposed to aimless chitchat that could more easily go awry. 3. Have your child ask herself one simple question before posting anything. And the question is this: "Would you show this to your grandmother?" Oooh. Good one. Or maybe this would work better for you: "Would you be proud to have your teacher see this?" I'll be suggesting that Julia consider both of these. 4. Sign a digital media contract with your child. This will cover everything from time restrictions, to passwords, to where devices need to be kept at bedtime, to the importance of kind behavior, and more. The best one I've seen is from Common Sense Media, but a quick search will give you lots of options. And more importantly than signing the contract is revisiting it, points out Scott Gaynor, Ed.D., head of school at The Stephen Gaynor School in NYC. It's tempting to go over the rules once and shove the paper in a drawer, but just like any important topic we want our children to understand, we need to talk about it often. 5. Fun fact: There's an unspoken rule among kids that you post to Instagram no more than once a day. It's clear that my daughter, who only gets to use her phone on weekends and goes to town on Instagram for those two days and nights, has no idea about this one. Saira Siddiqui, founder of Confessions of a Muslim MOMmaholic, shares her top picks. Saira Siddiqui from Parents Magazine When Houston mom-of-three Saira Siddiqui started her blog, Confessions of a Muslim MOMmaholic, six years ago, she hoped it would provide a different narrative than so many others. “I’m the child of immigrants, a Muslim-American, and a social activist, but writing about motherhood is a common thread that transcends labels and boundaries,” she says. We asked Siddiqui—who’s pursuing her Ed.D. in social education—to share a short (by no means complete!) list of books to give kids perspective on the world around them. From North to South, by René Colato Laínez “José lives with his mamá and papá in California, until Mamá is deported to Mexico for not having her citizenship papers. I love that this book takes a closer look at families struggling with legal status and helps children realize how much we have in common. It gives face and heart to people many kids might not know personally but whom they hear about in the media.” Ages 5 to 8, $10 Sitti’s Secrets, by Naomi Shihab Nye“A girl who visits her grandmother in her small Palestinian village learns to communicate through the shared language of the heart. This story shows what life is like for many U.S. families separated by land and by language.” Ages 5 to 8, $8 The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, by William Kamkwamba and Bryan Mealer“At just 14, Malawian William Kamkwamba used scrap metal and old bicycle parts to build a windmill, bringing electricity to his home and village. This book about overcoming adversity is all the more powerful because it’s a true story.” Picture-book edition (ages 6 to 8), $18; or young readers’ edition (ages 10 and older), $9 The Name Jar, by Yangsook Choi“A little girl from Korea named Unhei finds herself in a new country and a new school. She hesitates to tell the other students her name. Instead, she says she’ll select a new name from a jar. I love that she ultimately realizes the beauty in the name her parents have chosen for her and learns to value that over fitting in.” Ages 3 to 7, $8 Lailah’s Lunchbox, by Reem Faruqi“This story is about a Muslim girl who is excited to begin fasting for Ramadan but is scared that her classmates won’t understand. Its story can help bridge the divide between Muslim students and their peers.” Ages 5 to 8, $17
http://www.parents.com/fun/entertainment/books/books-to-help-you-raise-a-globally-minded-child/?utm_source=pmm-newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=parents_parentsdaily_bigkid_101217&did=179756-20171012&scrlybrkr=cc23dd03 5 Real-Life Finance Lessons for Kids
Think money matters are just for grown-ups? Not so. It’s never too soon to teach your kid real-life finance lessons. Start now, and your child will be a wallet whiz before you know it. By Tamekia Reece “Mom, can we go to the dollar store?” The day my 6-year-old son, Darren, asked that, we learned an important lesson. Since he had been saving money he’d received for his birthday, I took him. To my surprise, he had a fit and refused to get out of the car. Why? We weren’t at the real dollar store, he claimed. I asked, “What’s the real dollar store?” His response: “the place where you go and they give you dollars.” He meant the bank! The confusion isn’t surprising. Many kids think money is free, or have zany notions about how you get it, explains Jayne Pearl, coauthor of Kids, Wealth, and Consequences: Ensuring a Responsible Financial Future for the Next Generation. Getting a grip on finance is crucial, especially for Latino kids: Nearly 60 percent of college-educated Latinos struggle with financial literacy—more than other ethnic groups—according to a study by the TIAA-CREF Institute and the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center. Give your child a financial head start in life by cashing in on these tips. 1. Job HuntingAsk a 5-year-old where money comes from, and his answer will probably be “the bank,” “Mom and Dad,” “the president,” or “rich people.” He might not fully understand that your family affords things by working. To help him learn about earning, talk about jobs and how people are paid to do them. Then, make a big deal about his having a job of his own. You can “hire” him to do extra chores, he can sell hot chocolate or old toys, or he could collect and recycle cans to earn cash. 2. Super ShopperTurn your kid’s bedroom or playroom into a store. Put price tags on household items, give her spending money, and pretend to have a supermarket, a toy store, or a clothing boutique. Your child can come up with a list of things she wants to buy, work with the amount of money she has, find items on sale, and count out (with your help) the correct amount for her purchases. To practice those math skills, give her a chance to be the cashier. As she gets savvier about spending, give her some money and a short list of items that she’ll be in charge of buying the next time you go shopping in the real world. 3. Allowance BankMaking cash available to your child is a must. “If she never has access to money, she’ll never learn to handle it,” says Lori Mackey, who founded a website, Prosperity 4 Kids, that teaches fiscal responsibility. Determine the amount of the allowance (experts suggest $1 per year of age per week). Then make it interesting by playing “bank.” When the time comes for an allowance, issue your child a pretend check. Tell her that she’ll need to play “bank” with you to cash the check. Follow the same steps you would take at a real bank, asking her if she wants to have all the money now or keep some in her account to take out in the future. “Discuss the reasons she might want to save some,” suggests Mackey. “For instance, say, ‘I know you’ve been wanting new gel pens. If you save up for three weeks, you’ll have more than enough to buy the set you want.’” 4. Compound SavingsWhat does a kid do with money? Splurge! “A good way to encourage saving is to do a child version of a 401(k) plan,” says Ken Damato, CEO of DoughMain, a family financial-education website. “Tell your son that for every dollar he saves, you’ll add 50 cents of your own,” Damato explains. He probably won’t have any problem socking away a dollar here and there, which will help him develop smart saving habits for the future. “Kids think very short-term, so you have to engage them along the way,” says Damato. A piggy bank that lights up or makes a ka-ching sound when he adds money, a big, colorful chart to see his goal and his progress, or even a clear jar so he can watch his dollars and cents grow can all make saving more exciting. 5. Reality CheckYour daughter is trying to convince you that she needs those night-vision spy goggles. Just like she needs a new bike, a remote-control car, and a puppy! Playing the “Gotcha!” game can help her better understand wants and needs. First, give her a simple refresher on the difference between the two. “You can tell her that a need is something she must have in order to survive, such as air, food, water, and shelter,” says Pearl. “Explain that a want is something she’d like to have.” Then, set up a family “Gotcha!” jar. Any time a family member says “I need” when it’s really a want, someone else shouts “Gotcha!” The person who made the mistake has to put a quarter in the jar, Pearl explains. Your child will be on alert and will love it when you slip up (you will). Periodically, as the “Gotcha!” jar fills, your family can donate the funds to a charity for people who really do need things.
The choices you make and the actions you take now will shape the year ahead, for better or for worse. No pressure, right? Luckily, setting the tone for a positive, calm and more focused classroom doesn’t have to be hard.
Educator Kristy Herrmann created a lasting mindfulness practice in her classroom by using Mind Yeti for just a few minutes each day. Check it out:
It’s easy to get up and running with Mind Yeti this fall. Just follow these steps:
Step 1: Try Mind Yeti on your ownThe first few days before students come back to school are a great time to find a quiet moment to test drive Mind Yeti. You’ll get a sense for how best to model mindfulness and guide your students, and boost your own sense of calm and focus at the same time. To get started, create a free account, then click “play” on one of our introductory sessions and follow along. Each session is just 3-5 minutes long. Practice getting into your Yeti Body and focusing on your breath. Pick one or two sessions you want to share with students during the first few days and weeks of school. You can bookmark these to return to later. Reflect on how you might introduce and debrief your Mind Yeti sessions, putting your own spin on it. Step 2. Identify potential mindful moments in your school dayAs you plan your first few days and weeks of school, consider: when do you anticipate your students having the most trouble calming down and focusing? Perhaps your students struggle first thing in the morning, as class is settling in. Maybe it’s after lunch or P.E., when kids need help transitioning back to learning. Or maybe it’s at the end of the day, as you’re saying goodbye and winding down. There arelots of times that might make for good mindfulness breaks; pick one or two and plan to use Mind Yeti to flip the script on these problematic moments, making them work for you. Step 3. Set the stageAs you’re setting up your classroom, ask yourself: where will we practice with Mind Yeti? Mind Yeti can be done anywhere, anytime, but sometimes physically moving into a new space in the room can signal to kids that it’s time to change their minds as well. Perhaps you can gather your students in a circle on a carpet, or maybe you can ask them to move their chairs into a circle. Maybe it’s easiest just to have students find their Yeti Bodies at their desks. Whatever space you select, make it easy to get into and out of. Set up a pair of speakers if you have them, and connect your mobile device or computer to them. Get a comfy seat for yourself, so you can model and practice along with your class as you guide them. Dim the lights. Do what you can to create a comfortable and calm oasis for practicing mindfulness, and make sure it’s a space you can maintain throughout the year. Step 4. Get inspiredTeachers all over the world are using Mind Yeti to ease transitions and settle the hubbub. Joining our community of YetiGuides is easy. You can follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram. And as you get started with mindfulness, share your stories, pictures and experiences by using #YetiGuide and tagging us (@MindYeti) in your post. Your successes and challenges will inspire others! Step 5. Find an accountability buddyGetting started with mindfulness is easy, but sticking with it as the year goes on can be challenging. You’re more likely to be successful if you connect with someone else who’s willing to cheer you on and hold you accountable. Why not ask a colleague, co-worker or critical friend to join you in trying mindfulness this school year? Below is an invite you can copy and paste into a text, email or social media post. Alternatively, you can connect with other YetiGuides from around the globe via social media. Just search for #YetiGuide to see who else is out there. Find a buddy! Copy and paste the below, or create your own post on social media:I’m trying @MindYeti this school year to set my class up for success. Will you join me? http://mindyeti.com #YetiGuide http://blog.mindyeti.com/back-to-school Arizona takes steps toward creating Safe-2-Tell anti-bullying hotlineBy Margaret Beardsley | September 28, 2016
Superintendent of Public Instruction Diane Douglas recognized Riley Wilson (13), left, and Karis Wilson (12) of Phoenix for their work on anti-bullying legislation. Photo courtesy of the Arizona Department of Education. Thanks to two middle-school-age sisters from Phoenix, there may soon be a new resource for Arizona kids who endure bullying. This week, 12-year-old Karis Wilson and 13-year-old Riley Wilson were recognized by State Superintendent of Public Instruction Diane Douglas, who gave the seventh- and eighth-graders atMadison Meadows Middle School certificates of appreciation for their work on anti-bullying legislation. The girls have worked for nearly a year to get a bill called Safe-2-Tell through the Arizona Legislature. While Safe-2-Tell isn’t yet a law, the legislature did pass a bill that Gov. Doug Duceysigned, directing the Arizona Department of Education to study the feasibility of a state anti-bullying program. Simply put, Safe-2-Tell is a hotline kids could call if they feel they are being bullied. Already in several states, Safe-2-Tell is described as a safe and anonymous way to report any concerns about personal safety or the safety of others. The idea is that early intervention can prevent a problem from becoming bigger. The Safe-2-Tell hotline was adopted in Colorado after the Columbine High School tragedy, in which 12 students and a teacher were murdered by two high-school students. According to the executive summary study in Colorado, research shows that in 81 percent of violent incidents in U.S. schools, someone besides the attacker knew it was going to happen but failed to report it. Riley and Karis say their aunt, who served as a state senator in Nevada before her passing, inspired them to work to establish a similar program in Arizona. “My Aunt was Senator Debbie Smith,” Riley explains. “And she passed this bill in Nevada, and I think it’s important to have it in Arizona, too. Lots of kids are being bullied, and they have nobody to tell.” Douglas said she was “honored” to recognize the two students for their diligence. “As we educate our children, there are few things I see as more important than helping them understand their rights, roles and responsibilities as American citizens,” Douglas said of the Wilson sisters. “These two students are shining examples of the high-quality civic engagement that is being taught in our classrooms.” Karis says getting the legislation where it is today was “a lot of work, but fun too.” Arizona Department of Education Spokeswoman Alexis Susdorf says the feasibility study will be completed by Thursday, Dec. 15 and submitted to Ducey and the legislative leadership for funding or future legislation. Similar hotlines in other states typically are staffed 24 hours a day, seven days a week by trained experts. Colorado also maintains a website: safe2tell.org. Hotline tips are generally passed on to the appropriate agency, whether it’s law enforcement, mental health professionals or school officials. Riley says her friends think the program is a good idea because, “It will give kids someone to talk to anonymously, and then someone from the office will just come and talk to (the bully), and they will not know who ratted them out.” Noelle Wilson, the girls’ mother, is proud of her daughters. “I think the girls have done a great job of sticking to it and working on this program,” she says. “It’s really going to help kids — give them an outlet to report dangerous things that are happening in their school or in their families.” Riley and Karis say they’ve never been bullied, but both admit to knowing other children who have. When asked if she thinks her bill will be funded, Riley is confident. “It took a lot of convincing,” she explains. “We had to talk to a lot of senators and representatives. We had to meet with them a lot. It will (be funded); it definitely will.” Tags: anti-bullying, anti-bullying hotline, Arizona Department of Education, Arizona Legislature, bullying,Columbine High School, Diane Douglas, Gov. Doug Ducey, Madison Meadows Middle School, Safe-2-Tell,safe2tell.org http://www.raisingarizonakids.com/2016/09/arizona-bill-anti-bullying-hotline-safe-2-tell/ Mothers can follow these steps to instill a positive body image in their children (especially young girls) and help prevent eating disorders.
By Aviva Braun In my private practice as a psychotherapist specializing in eating and body-image problems, I have seen teens and young adult women with eating and body-image problems that stem from growing up in homes where certain foods were off-limits. Many of their negative associations come from painful memories that go back as early as grade school. My knowledge of this awards me the opportunity to address this issue with parents of children in this age group early on, in an effort to prevent eating disorders later. From the first time a mother feeds her newborn baby, her attitude toward food and eating can leave an impression. A mother who is anxious while feeding her newborn and doesn't pay attention to hunger cues can set the stage for problems with food later in childhood. By the time preschool comes around, the attitudes and approach mothers have toward food sets the stage for how kids may feel later about food and eating. If a child witnesses her mother expressing disgust at her image in the mirror, the child may begin to mimic that behavior. According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), 40 to 60 percent of elementary school girls (ages 6 to 12) are concerned about becoming too fat or gaining wait. It's troubling when girls as young as 6 are worrying about the fat content in their lunch boxes. So where are these children picking up their ideas about food, fat, and body image? Their home environment, other kids at school, and commercials and magazines all influence them. Kids start to perceive what fat means just by hearing about it from other peers and adults or by watching TV. They learn that fat is "bad for you" and will make you gain weight. As a result, they don't want to eat. A majority of my patients have also said that their mothers were very tough on them about how their bodies looked or that their mothers had personal body issues. Generally, later on in life, these young women become binge eaters to rebel against the ideas that were set forth by restrictive mothers. Mothers, then, are the first and most significant female models in their developing daughters' lives. They are faced with the difficult challenge of modeling positive feelings toward food, eating, and body image. Here are steps that mothers can take to help their school-age girls and to prevent early eating and image problems. Model a Positive Body Image. Women may have internalized cultural values, such as the importance of thinness, and have difficulty trusting their own needs, desires, and wants. It is key that mothers be aware when they feel bad about their own bodies and when they are modeling a negative body image. Be careful not to use words such as "fat" and "diet" around the home. Young kids, especially girls, are impressionable and susceptible, so teach them to be comfortable with their developing bodies. Convey this with phrases such as, "Honey, that dress really flatters your body" and "You are my beautiful child, inside and out." Although mothers who struggle with their own negative body image may find this difficult, it's key to remain cognizant of the language and phrases said in front of daughters. It's essential that every mother find the strength within to avoid making bad comments about her own body. Discuss "Sometimes" vs. "Always" Foods. When it comes to discussing food choices, avoid categorizing foods as "good" vs. "bad" (which can make kids feel as though they've been good or bad) or "healthy" vs. "unhealthy." Instead, talk about "sometimes" foods and "always" foods; this can help your kids understand that some foods are better eaten in smaller quantities and less often. Vegetables, fruits, whole grains, proteins, and dairy products can all be explained as "always" foods that are useful and necessary for growth and development. Sweets and fried foods can be seen as "sometimes" foods that taste good but are not healthy or necessary to help us grow. When kids do desire "sometimes" foods, they should eat just a small portion and stop when satisfied. Because feeling full and satisfied may have a different meaning for every child, be attuned to your child's unique nature of fullness. Let your child be the one to say when she is finished eating; don't make the decision for her. Practice "Self-Attuned Eating." The "self-attuned eating" model, a process of learning to pay attention to and trust feelings of hunger and fullness, can help with making certain food choices. In my own practice, I rely on this model; while it may not work for everyone, I believe it is the best way to prevent eating disorders if it's taught and practiced with children early on in their lives. This model teaches that feeling satisfied is important, so no food is off-limits and it's okay to eat all types, whether carrots or candy. This helps them feel safe, comfortable, and open around all foods and promotes a healthy, normalizing attitude toward eating. Talk About Empty vs. Full Stomachs. Discuss how food affects the digestive system and the body by sharing how to eat only when hungry and how to stop when full. Talk to your kids about how their bodies feel at the present moment. Try asking if their stomach feels empty and "growly" or if their stomach feels full and "heavy." Re-enforce this on a regular basis to help kids feel connected to their bodies. In Preventing Childhood Eating Problems, psychotherapists Jane Hirschmann and Lela Zaphiropoulos stress that allowing children to decide when, what, and how much to eat helps strengthen their self-confidence, self-esteem, and sense of dignity. This also helps kids avoid the kinds of eating difficulties that have plagued many adults for life. Involve Children in the Lunch-Making Process. Get creative by having your kids prepare their own lunches. Allow them to choose what they like and also teach the basic food groups. Offer enough options so that kids can choose chocolate milk one day and regular milk another day. Include them when grocery shopping so they are further involved in picking the foods they would like to have in the house. Talk about how their bodies need certain nutrients and vitamins to grow strong; this makes them feel that they have some control over what is eaten. As they consume a variety of foods, explain the purpose each one serves and the positive effects. For example, "We eat carrots because they have vitamins and help with our eyesight." Although getting vital nutrients is crucial to development, enjoying the eating experience can have a long-lasting effect on the mind and body. Copyright © 2013 Meredith Corporation. Aviva Braun is a licensed clinical social worker who offers both individual and group therapy to adolescent and adult women who have eating and body image problems. She has presented on the topic of eating disorders and healthy body image to schools, college counseling centers, and parent associations. Visit her site at avivabraunlcsw.com. All content on this Web site, including medical opinion and any other health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Use of this site and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others. http://www.parents.com/kids/eating-disorders/prevent-body-image-issues/?utm_source=pmm-newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=parents_parentsdaily_bigkid_092916&did=80256&scrlybrkr 1- Why Aren't There Any More Dinosaurs?
Tell your kid About 65 million years ago an enormous asteroid collided with the earth and changed everything on the planet. The dinosaurs couldn't adapt and eventually died out, making way for new animals, ones that were better suited to this other climate. What you should know "Dinosaurs are vivid proof that the world was once very different, which gets a child's imagination running wild," notes Matthew T. Carrano, Ph.D., curator of Dinosauria at the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C. "Dinosaurs can often hook kids into broader scientific concepts," he says, so take this opportunity to talk about, say, the environment or evolution. For example, explain that dinosaurs' fossils show that they were the ancestors of today's chickens, pigeons -- even ostriches. 2- Why Are There So Many Languages in The World? Tell your kid Thousands of years ago, people in different communities all over the globe invented their own words to describe their lives, and that's why today people from the same area tend to speak the same language and other people may not. Languages also evolve over time: Our own has changed so much that if you heard someone speaking English as it was spoken 500 years ago, you'd have trouble understanding what he was saying. What you should know Hearing someone speaking a foreign language can strike young children as odd -- even unsettling. "But the earlier we help kids understand what they can learn from other cultures, the more likely they'll seek out new kinds of people," notes Jillian Cavanaugh, Ph.D., associate professor of anthropology and archaeology at Brooklyn College, in New York. Remind your kid that people from other cultures might think the way we talk is unusual, too, and point out that some words she uses often come from other languages, like ballet (French) or pasta (Italian). 3- Why Don't We Want Others to See Our Private Parts? Tell your kid Because we use them for things we don't do in public, like going to the bathroom -- that's why we call them private parts. It's also why we cover them with a swimsuit at the pool or close the door when we use the potty. We don't show our private parts to anyone except Mommy and Daddy or a trusted adult, like a doctor in her office. If someone tries to touch them or makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. What you should know "This is a great chance to model a calm, normalized attitude about the body," assures family therapist Hal Runkel, author of ScreamFree Parenting, so remain matter-of-fact. Young kids lack inhibition, he explains, so take this opportunity to set some safe boundaries about what body parts are off-limits to outsiders. 4- Why Is That Man Homeless? Tell your kid I'm glad you noticed him. There are lots of reasons people become homeless. He may have lost his job or become too sick to take care of himself or his home. In any case, we should treat him with respect. We should also offer help for the homeless when we can, by doing things like donating to a shelter or collecting winter coats. What you should know "Children have a limited frame of reference and believe everyone lives just like they do," says Brenda Nixon, author of The Birth to Five Book. They need honesty but also reassurance: They may worry that they'll also become homeless. "Kids often show amazing compassion," Nixon adds, so brainstorm together about how your family can lend a hand. 5- Why Do People Get Sick? Tell your kid Usually, it's because of germs. These tiny critters can find their way into our body through the air we breathe and things we eat, or when we touch our mouth or eyes without washing our hands. Most of the time, germs don't affect us, but sometimes our body can't fight them off -- and that's when we get sick. Occasionally, people also become ill because their body isn't working properly, but you can't catch those kinds of sicknesses. Fortunately, in most cases, resting and taking medicine can help your body heal. What you should know It's important to draw a distinction between common conditions like the flu and more frightening ones like cancer. "Children want to know that they're going to get better," says Parents advisor Darshak Sanghavi, M.D., author of A Map of the Child: A Pediatrician's Tour of the Body. "Explain that most serious diseases usually don't happen until old age. The illnesses kids catch typically can be easily treated." While you're at it, promote healthy habits such as washing hands frequently to ward off germs. More Answers to "Why?" Questions6- Why Do Grown-Ups Sometimes Cry When They're Happy? Tell your kid People may feel something so strongly that they just have to let it out. When kids feel happy they usually jump up and down or yell, but grown-ups have more complicated emotions -- and when we're really happy, we can also be just a little sad at the same time. Sometimes for adults, crying just happens. What you should know When you cry out of happiness, it's usually because something feels bittersweet, like your kid's first day ofkindergarten (you're so proud -- but she's growing up so fast!). Kids don't have the same range of emotions, so this concept can baffle them, Dr. Sanghavi says. Use this conversation to encourage your kid to express feelings in words. Emphasize that crying is okay -- but it's important to say what's wrong. "Understanding why you have a particular emotional response will also help your child become more sensitive to others' feelings," he adds. So tell your child that if she ever sees you crying, she can ask if it's because you're happy or sad. 7- Why Can't I Stay Up As Late As You Do? Tell your kid Not only does your body need a break after running around all day, your brain needs one too. It's busy exercising as you think and discover new things. Since you're so active and learning so much more than adults each day, you need extra time to rest. You go to bed a little earlier so your body and mind can work even better in the morning. What you should know Contrary to popular belief, our body and brain don't "grow" while we sleep. But scientists know that rest is essential to healthy mental development; when kids get less than ten hours a night, they're more irritable and don't learn as well, Dr. Sanghavi notes. 8- Why Do the Kids Next Door Have So Many More Toys Than We Do? Tell your kid It's up to adults to decide what they do with their money, and our neighbors may choose to spend more on toys than we do. It's easy to feel jealous, but having more stuff won't make our family happier or better than any other. What you should know This might sound like a loaded question, but look at it as an opportunity to start a conversation about the concept of money: where it comes from and how your family opts to spend, save, or give it away, suggests Sharon Lechter, founder of payyourfamilyfirst.com, an organization dedicated to improving financial literacy. "Explain that everything has a cost, then describe what it is you and your partner do every day to pay the bills," she says. Discuss the difference between want and need, and, with an older child, talk about ways that he can make money of his own, such as by offering to wash a neighbor's car. 9- Why Do I Have to Invite That Girl to My Birthday Party? Tell your kid Because if you don't, it might hurt her feelings, and in our family we always try to be kind to others. Even if another kid seems different from you or you're not into the same things, it's important to include her. You don't have to become close friends, but imagine how you'd feel if she threw a party and invited everyone in the class but you. What you should know Kids can start to form groups and exclude others as early as preschool -- but combating this behavior now can have a major impact down the line, says Parents advisor Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. "If you can teach your child at an early age to imagine how others feel and consider how she can help them, you'll raise someone who's not only less likely to bully, but more likely to stop a friend from being cruel," she says. Originally published in the August 2012 issue of Parents magazine. This article can be read online at: Parents.com Practicing mindfulness can help kids learn to focus, manage stress, regulate emotions, and develop a positive outlook. Here's how to teach them the skill.
By Ellen Sturm Niz Last year, my daughter started learning mindfulness in her third-grade class at school. The students would sit in a circle, close their eyes, and quietly take notice of their own thoughts and what was happening around them. Each session, led by Danielle Mahoney, the mindfulness educator and literacy coach at P.S. 212Q in Jackson Heights, Queens, had a different lesson: mindful seeing, mindful hearing, mindful breathing, or heartfulness (or sending kind thoughts to others). The idea was that learning these techniques would help the young students focus better in school and be less stressed out. Though at first my daughter resisted the mindfulness—she said the singing bowl they rang to start the sessions hurt her ears and gave her a headache—she slowly came around. She began enjoying the sessions and discovering they helped her focus. Since she began using the skill at school, I've noticed she is better able to center herself at home, too. When she starts freaking out about something, she is able to stop, take a breath, and shift her perspective to come up with a less emotional—and more productive—reaction. For a very sensitive and dramatic kid, this is a major development. "The greatest impact I've seen so far with the students I have worked with has been an increase in compassion for themselves and for others," says Mahoney, who is certified in mindfulness teaching by Mindful Schools. "They learn how to pause and respond to situations rather than react. They have a better understanding of the ways that their brains work and have an increased sense of curiosity and wonder about their own thoughts, emotions, and body sensations." The children also seem to have better coping skills and communication skills, adds Mahoney, who has taught the practice to more than 300 students. "They have learned to be present—for themselves and for others." The Benefits of Practicing MindfulnessThe benefits of mindfulness are not just anecdotal: A growing body of scientific research shows its positive effects on mental health and well-being. Practicing mindfulness has been shown to improve attention and reduce stress as well as increase one's ability to regulate emotions and feel compassion and empathy. Mindfulness also is widely considered an effective psychotherapy treatment for adults, children, and adolescents with aggression, ADHD, or mental health problems such as anxiety. "Mindful awareness helps students with self regulation, optimism, and planning and organizational skills," says Maria Hersey, Ph.D., the U.S. director of education and training at The Hawn Foundation, which trains educators to teach its science-based mindfulness curriculum, MindUP. "A lot of the research shows that mindful awareness—and understanding its pieces—helps students with cognitive and academic growth. It helps them follow through and prioritize." In schools where MindUP has been implemented, the Hawn Foundation says 90 percent of children improved their ability to get along with other children. About 80 percent were more optimistic and had enhanced their self-concept, self-regulation, and self-management, while three-quarters of the children improved their planning and organizational skills, and the same amount had better impulse control and less reactivity. In addition, visits to the principal's office, incidents of bullying, and absenteeism—among both students and teachers—decreased. "Students learn about attending to the here and now and being present with the people that they interact with, with themselves, [and] with their environment in a non-judgmental way," Dr. Hersey says. "It's really about getting students to reflect on their own thoughts and actions and learning how to make better choices for themselves and for others as well. So in our technology-based world where everybody is connected, we talk to students about the importance of self regulation and learning how their brains work so they might react less emotionally and more rationally in situations, and understand that they can be in control of themselves and their actions." How to Teach Mindfulness at HomeWhether kids are learning mindfulness in school or not, parents can and should employ some of the same lessons teachers use in the classroom at home. "If you really want children to embed a skill that schools are teaching into lifelong learning, it has to be reinforced at home as well," Dr. Hersey says, adding that MindUP's founder Goldie Hawn wrote a book, 10 Mindful Minutes, specifically for parents so they could help their kids develop these skills, and that the foundation offers MindUP family workshops for parents and caregivers. "If kids want to really learn, they have to...embed the new learning into different situations. It's really giving them that context to say, 'Hey, I learned this in school, but this really works for me when I'm stressed on the softball field.'" One of MindUP's core practices is the "brain break," in which students take a deep breath and calm themselves for three to five minutes to quiet their minds, be present, and just focus. Parents can encourage their kids to take a brain break during homework time, during stressful situations, or simply when transitioning from one activity to the next. "It's just a moment when you need to decompress a bit and just be present," Dr. Hersey says. "It's really about taking that time to be calm and peaceful and remember the things that are important in life and really focus on the positive." Other lessons include practicing mindful awareness during everyday activities, like walking and eating, to teach kids to truly be in that moment and not thinking about tomorrow's math test or Saturday's birthday party. Dr. Hersey suggests parents do a "listening walk" with their children, asking them what sounds they hear, what the sounds remind them of, and how they help them remember a happy time or appreciate a happy experience. "For mindful tasting, we talk about the importance of being mindfully aware when we are eating and focusing on each morsel and what does it taste like, just engaging with food and not watching TV or focusing on conversation," Dr. Hersey says. "There is a lot of research on watching TV when we are eating, and we will tend to eat more instead of taking our time to be present in that particular moment." MindUP is also developing an app for teaching these skill to kids, and a few are already available from other developers as an easy way for kids to learn the practice on their own. Smiling Mind (free) offers mindfulness sessions, developed by a team of psychologists, that start with a quick series of questions to focus the mind followed by simple, easy-to-follow meditation exercises. Inner Peace for Kids ($1.99) from Kids Happy Apps features two meditation tracks, Colorful Balloons or Sleeping on a Cloud, and lets kids create their own zen garden. For bedtime, there is Sleep Meditations for Kids (free) where four bedtime stories are transformed into guided meditations designed to promote relaxation and contentment. Developing a Family PracticeHowever a parent chooses to teach their children mindfulness, Mahoney says parents practicing it themselves may have the greatest impact on their children. "I would suggest that parents encourage their children to take a few minutes a day to practice and then practice right along with them," she says. "Setting routines in place for taking just a few moments a day to close your eyes and notice your breath, your thoughts, your emotions, and your body sensations, with kindness and curiosity, would make a great impact on the whole family." As a busy mom trying to balance family, work, friends, chores, and "me time," taking a few moments a day to breathe can be harder than it sounds, but I'm determined to incorporate mindfulness into my life to model it for my daughter. Just like nutritious eating, exercise, reading, and any other habit we believe will help grow our children into happy, healthy adults, developing a skill that will help my kid connect with her own thoughts and feelings is worth the effort. Being present in the moment is key to experiencing life to its fullest. As The Family Circle cartoonist Bil Keane said, "Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." Ellen Sturm Niz is a New York City-based editor and writer who is starting to practice mindfulness at home with her 9-year-old daughter. Follow her on Twitter. When it comes to dealing with bad behavior, everyone screws up. We'll help you do it right.
By Katy Rank Lev from Parents Magazine I haven't been to the post office since "the incident." I was that wild-eyed woman with a screaming child, slowly working my way up the line as one customer after another let me go ahead. Turns out my desperate attempts to comfort my kid were the result of a rookie error. The tantrum came from an oversight I made earlier that day: failing to notice the signals (eye-rubbing and crankiness) that he was tired. No wonder he had a meltdown. I'm hardly alone in missing my child's cues, says Parents advisor Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. According to her, there are patterns to behavior. Kids do the same things when they're tired, hungry, or getting fed up; it's up to adults to take note and adjust accordingly. My son's moodiness should have told me to let him nap, then run errands when he was ready. Ignoring a kid's signs is one of many discipline mistakes parents make all the time, but fixing them can make a huge difference in the parenting experience. We asked the experts to reveal the most common missteps. We're Too Negative"Don't hit your sister!" "Stop pulling the dog's tail!" The number of things you tell your toddler or preschooler not to do is endless. THE FIX Ask for the behavior you want to see. Nobody wants to raise a child who doesn't understand limits, but "parents say 'no' so frequently that kids become deaf to it -- and the word loses its power," Dr. Borba explains. Moreover, "we often tell kids not to do something without letting them know what they should be doing," notes Linda Sonna, Ph.D., author of The Everything Toddler Book. So save the naysaying for truly dangerous situations (think: fork in the electrical socket or your child eating the spider plant), and focus on telling kids how you would like them to behave. For example, instead of, "No standing in the bathtub!" try, "We sit down in the bathtub because it's slippery." Later, when you notice your kid splashing away in a seated position, offer some praise ("I like how you're sitting!") to reinforce her good behavior. We Expect Too Much From Our KidsYou're sitting in church when your toddler shouts. As soon as you shush him, he does it again. Mortifying! Why doesn't he listen? THE FIX Play teacher. Very young children still haven't developed impulse control or learned the social graces required in public places like stores and restaurants. "Parents assume kids know more than they do," Dr. Sonna says. When your child breaks a norm, remind yourself that he isn't trying to be a pain -- he just doesn't know how to act in the situation, so snapping isn't effective (or fair). Focus on showing your child how you want him to behave, softly saying things like, "I'm being quiet because I'm in church, but if I need something from Dad I lean in close to whisper." Also point out what others are doing ("Look how Charlie is coloring while he waits for his meal to arrive"). Kids are born mimics, so modeling or drawing attention to something we want them to do goes a long way. "It takes time and repetition for kids to learn to handle themselves," Dr. Sonna says, which means you should expect to give your kid a lot of reminders -- and remove him when he doesn't get the message. Over time, he'll learn how to act. We Model Behavior We Don't Want to SeeWhen you drop something, you yell. A man cuts you off and you call him a rude name. But then you get mad if your kid reacts the same way when things don't go her way. THE FIX Apologize and take a do-over. There's a boomerang effect to behavior: If we yell, our kids probably will too, says Devra Renner, coauthor of Mommy Guilt. Yes, it's hard to be on perfect behavior around the clock, so apologize when you do slip up. "Emotions are powerful and difficult to control, even for grown-ups," Renner notes, but saying "sorry" demonstrates that we're accountable for our actions nonetheless. It also creates the chance to talk about why you reacted the way you did and offers appropriate ways to respond when you're feeling frustrated. That's what Deena Blumenfeld, of Pittsburgh, did when her son Owen, 5, protested so much about getting dressed that she snapped, "Just shut up and get dressed!" Realizing this was not how she'd want her son to react in a similar situation, she knelt down, apologized, then talked about how important it is to be on time for school. It worked: Owen got ready for school calmly after that. We Intervene When Our Kids Simply Annoy Us Jenny Risher You hear your children chasing each other around the house and immediately shout. THE FIX Ignore selectively. Often, parents feel the need to step in every time kids do something, well, kid-like. But always being the bad guy is exhausting, Dr. Borba notes. Keep in mind that children sometimes do things that are irksome because they're exploring new skills. (So your toddler could be dumping juice into his cereal because he's learning about liquids.) Other times, they're seeking attention. When it comes to reacting, Dr. Borba's rule of thumb is: When safety isn't an issue, try watchful waiting. If your 6-year-old is playing his recorder with his nose, try not to shout. See what happens if you just continue with what you're doing as if nothing is happening. Most likely, if you don't respond, he will eventually stop -- and you'll feel calmer, having avoided a shouting match. We're All Talk and No Action"Turn off the TV... I'm serious this time... Really!" Your kids continue bad behavior when warnings are vague for the same reason you run yellow lights -- there aren't consequences. THE FIX Set limits and follow through. Nagging, second chances, and negotiation all convey that cooperation is optional, says Robert MacKenzie, Ph.D., author of Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child. To teach kids to follow rules, make expectations clear, then take action when they're broken. If you want your kid to, say, get off the couch and do homework, start with respectful directives ("Please turn off the TV now and do your work"). If she follows through, thank her. If not, give a consequence: "I'm turning off the TV now. Until your work is finished, your TV privileges are suspended." We Use Time-Out IneffectivelyWhen you send your 3-year-old to his room after he hits his brother, he starts banging his head on the floor in rage. THE FIX Consider a time-in. A time-out is meant to be a chance for a child to calm down, not a punishment. Some kids respond well to the suggestion that they go to a quiet room until they're chill. But others view it as a rejection, and it riles them up. Plus, it doesn't teach kids how you want them to behave. As an alternative, Dr. Sonna suggests taking a "time-in," where you sit quietly with your kid. If he's very upset, hold him to get him settled down, Dr. Sonna adds. Once he's relaxed, calmly explain why the behavior wasn't okay. Too angry to comfort him? Put yourself in time-out; once you've relaxed, discuss what you would like your child to do differently. You might start by saying: "What can you do instead of hitting when Milo grabs your train?" We Assume What Works for One Kid Will Work for the OtherThe best way to deal with your son's whining is to get down at eye level and explain how his actions need to change. But your daughter is more aggressive and refuses to listen. THE FIX Develop a diverse toolbox. It's easy to blame your kid when a discipline technique fails. But "you may have to go about getting the behavior you want in different ways with each kid," notes Avivia Pflock, coauthor of Mommy Guilt. While one might respond to a verbal reminder about what is acceptable, the other might need a consequence when she acts up -- like having her Wii unplugged. Being firm with one child and touchy-feely with another isn't being inconsistent; it's tuning in to different needs and learning styles, Pflock assures. "The punishment should fit the crime -- and the kid." As a doctor and a dad who suffered myself as a kid, I’ve uncovered info that’ll finally ease seasonal allergy symptoms.
By David L. Hill, M.D. from Parents Magazine I always feel a special empathy for my young patients with allergies because my own allergies were so bad. Even worse, I’ve now passed them on to my children. At least they have lots of company: Research suggests that nearly half of all children in the U.S. have some kind of allergy. Seasonal allergic rhinitis usually develops after a few years of exposure to an outdoor allergen, so it’s uncommon in children younger than 2. (However, children can develop allergies to year-round indoor triggers like pet dander and dust mites before age 2.) The typical age for diagnosis is around 4 to 6 years old. Symptoms—including sneezing; stuffy or runny nose; cough and scratchy throat due to postnasal drip; puffy, watery, itchy eyes, mouth, or skin—peak in late childhood and adolescence, and then improve during adulthood. All this experience as a patient, parent, and pediatrician has armed me with some insider tips that you might not have heard before, even if you have plenty of experience with allergies in your family. 1. Your kid should start taking meds earlier in the year than you may think. If your child has seasonal allergies, he should ideally start the medicines at least two to three weeks before the beginning of the season (which depends on his specific allergy) and continue them through the end. If your child has allergies year-round, talk to his doctor about keeping the medicines going all year rather than waiting for symptoms to flare up. Most allergy medicines are far more effective at preventing symptoms than they are at treating them once they start. That’s because the runny nose, stuffiness, itching, sneezing, and watery eyes result from a whole cascade of events in the immune system, and once it gets going it’s hard to stop. Corticosteroid nose sprays, available over-thecounter, are the most effective type of medicines for allergies (for children 2 and older); they prevent the cascade by decreasing the immune system’s response to antigens like dust mites and pollen. Antihistamines can help relieve symptoms during an attack, but they are even more effective if they’re in the bloodstream before the attack starts. Allergy medicines, which may either be prescribed or bought over-the-counter, are often given once a day—which means they need about five days to reach their full strength and another five to wear off completely. Oral antihistamines relieve many allergy symptoms (including sneezing and itchy eyes) by blocking histamine, the chemical “culprit” in the body, but they don’t relieve nasal congestion. 2. Pollen counts don’t tell the whole story. If your child has had allergy testing, the results will be much more useful than relying on monitoring the overall pollen count. If she’s not allergic to ragweed, for example, then a high ragweed count shouldn’t keep her off the playground. Children who only have allergies in certain seasons are likely allergic to pollens or mold spores that appear at specific times of year. Doctors can perform skin and/or blood tests to help you learn which types of pollen cause your child’s f lare-ups, and you can monitor pollen counts to know when to start medicines and, on the worst days, when to limit your child’s time outdoors. As a general rule, trees pollinate in the spring, grasses bloom in mid- to late spring or early summer, and weeds in the late summer or early fall. In colder climates, mold spores are a summer to early-fall phenomenon, but in warm places (like North Carolina, where I live), they can remain airborne year-round. Many weather services report overall pollen levels or levels of specific allergens such as ragweed, the most common cause of hay fever. The National Allergy Bureau, a service of the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, & Immunology, provides reports on pollen from specific species of trees, weeds, and grasses around the country—as well as mold-spore counts—at aaaai.org. 3. Winter has a big effect on allergies. Cold winter weather is a blessing for many kids with seasonal allergies, who can count on a break until at least February. A warmer winter can cause plants to pollinate early, meaning sufferers’ symptoms start up sooner than usual. A rainy spring can also promote rapid plant growth and lead to an increase in mold, with effects that last well into the fall. Rain can wash away pollen, but the relief is only temporary, since pollen counts can rise rapidly following wet weather. Other weather clues that may help you to head off your child’s worst symptoms: Warm, windy days generally lead to a high pollen count, whereas calm days can leave all that pollen on the ground rather than flying into your child’s nose.4. Kids ages 5 and older can try a new treatment. When I was a child one of the only things that helped my allergies was getting “allergy shots,” properly called immunotherapy or AIT. Even today, shots are usually given one or two times every week or month for three to five years and act much like a vaccine, offering exposure to increasing levels of the substance you’re allergic to so your immune system adapts and becomes less reactive. Injections were the only form of immunotherapy approved for children in the U.S. until April 2014, when the FDA approved the first of three oral immunotherapy agents. This form of daily immunotherapy has been popular in Europe, where children apparently hate shots just as much as they do here. Absorbed under the tongue, the tablets contain an extract of grasses or ragweed. In order to benefit from the therapy, children need to be at least 5 years old and have a positive allergy test for a pollen allergy that can cause sneezing, runny or itchy nose, and watery eyes. One caveat: Due to the (rare) possibility of symptoms of a serious allergic reaction, your allergist must observe your child for at least 30 minutes after the first dose, and afterward your allergist should prescribe an epinephrine auto-injector in case of emergency. 5. Honey may help—but there’s no proof. Some parents swear by local honey as an all-natural immunotherapy. (It’s safe for kids 12 months and older.) If regular exposure to allergens is how immunotherapy strengthens a patient’s immune system, shouldn’t a tasty substance laden with pollens from your local area have the same effect?Unlike immunotherapy, honey doesn’t contain consistent levels of pollen. There are few scientific studies of honey and allergies, and the ones that exist have conflicting results. Research has shown that any honey works as well as medicine for cough (given by teaspoon on an as-needed basis), but the jury is still out on whether local honey reduces allergy symptoms in children. That said, it has to be the yummiest unproven therapy out there. Sometimes it seems that the only way to get kids to listen is to shout. Learn to take it down a few decibels -- and enjoy better behavior in the process.
By Corinne Garcia from Parents Magazine My boys, who are 3 and 5, always seem to want the things that they know they can't have: cookies for breakfast, a movie at bedtime, flip-flops on a snowy day. When they get the inevitable "no" for an answer it often sends them into a tailspin -- whining, writhing on the floor, and kicking the air. Nothing gets to me more than these spontaneous freak-outs. Don't they understand that if they stay up late watching Shrek they'll be cranky the next day? Before I know it, I'm yelling again. How do things go from movie request to scream-fest in seconds? The kids hit one of my triggers, and like many parents, I react by shouting. (If you've never screamed at your children, know that statistically you're one of the few. According to a study in The Journal of Marriage and Family, 89 percent of parents report doing it.) Still, it doesn't feel good. In fact, most shouting sessions result in a scream hangover. Afterward, adults may feel guilty, wishing they could have dealt with the situation in a better way. It turns out that it's no fun for kids either, according to psychotherapist Alyson Schafer, author of Ain't Misbehavin': Tactics for Tantrums, Meltdowns, Bedtime Blues and Other Perfectly Normal Kid Behaviors. If yelling is your main form of discipline, it can diminish your child's sense of security and self-esteem, she explains. "If you just yell on occasion, you won't damage your kids," assures psychotherapist Jim Hutt, Ph.D., creator of counselorlink.com; still, it's not a good strategy for getting good behavior. Yelling is scary, so it activates a child's emotional "fight or flight" response while shutting down his logical thinking. "If I yell at a kid, he's going to stop processing information, and if I want him to learn why his behavior is inappropriate, I need him to be able to understand what I'm saying," Dr. Hutt explains. When parents raise their voice, all it teaches kids is to do the same when they're upset. "If we hit, they hit; if we yell, they learn to yell. If we are calm, they learn how to be calm," Dr. Hutt says. Of course, given the right triggers, even the most Zen parents lose it sometimes. When you do, it's important to apologize to your kid and admit that you should have handled things differently. "Parents can't preach that it's okay to make mistakes, then neglect to admit their own mistakes and, worse yet, fail to apologize," Dr. Hutt says. It can also help to identify the situations that most frequently get you shouting -- that way you can plan ahead about how to react, so you're more in control of your emotions in the moment. We went to the experts to get better solutions for some of the most common scream-inducers. The Power StruggleYour daughter wants a cookie for breakfast, and she won't take no for an answer. She's probably thinking, "If I cry and scream, maybe Mom will give in." As her demand escalates into a full-blown battle of wills, you lose control and end up yelling at her. Why parents lose it When kids undermine our authority (doing things they know we disapprove of or ignoring what we say) it leaves us feeling helpless. When you find yourself screaming, it's probably not even about the cookie anymore; it's an attempt to take back control. "The power struggle is a contest about who has the upper hand in the moment," Schafer says. "We want to impress upon our kids that we are the one in charge." The no-scream solution To keep a power struggle from escalating, make a conscious effort to get out of fight mode. Rather than focusing on winning or losing this particular battle with your kid, try to work together to find a better solution. First, state your position simply ("We don't have cookies for breakfast"). Then offer some choices ("Would you like to have yogurt or cereal?"). This will make her feel like she has some control over the situation, Schafer says. If that doesn't work, you might try defusing the tension with humor. Doing a silly dance out of the blue may be just the trick for putting your child into a happier mind-set, one in which she's willing and able to find some middle ground. How to Discipline Your Kids Running LateThe hardest part of the day for many moms is getting the kids out of the house. You ask them to get dressed and put their shoes on; they ignore you. You finally find your keys and are ready to go; they run off and hide. It's all fun and games -- until you unleash the scream beast. Why parents lose it It's extremely frustrating when you're in a rush to get out the door and no one is taking your concerns about staying on schedule seriously. You can't help but feel insignificant, out of control, and burdened all at the same time -- you're obviously going to have to drop what you're doing and force your kids' shirts over their little heads yourself. It's easy to forget that young children have no concept of the consequences of running late. But repeating yourself over and over isn't the solution. "It teaches them that they're too stupid to get it or that they don't have to respond the first time," Dr. Hutt says. The no-scream solution Rather than nagging your kids until you're at the point of shouting, just tell them it's time to get ready once -- and then don't give any more reminders, Dr. Hutt suggests. Say, "We're leaving in ten minutes. I hope you'll be dressed and ready." If they aren't, pick them up and put them in the car firmly yet gently -- in whatever they're wearing. If your kids have to go to school in their pajamas, they'll know you mean business next time. Sibling SquabblesYour daughter borders on genius when it comes to pushing her brother's buttons. In the car on the way to the park, she leans over and touches his beloved blankie with one graceful finger, setting off a full-on battle. Your temper goes from zero to 60 in three seconds or less. Why parents lose it No matter who "started it," it's almost impossible to play referee when both kids are screaming and kicking -- and the situation becomes flat-out dangerous if their fighting is distracting you while you're driving. The no-scream solution When things are already heated between your kids, having a strongly negative reaction is like adding fuel to a fire; it will only escalate the situation. Especially on the road, where you can't really shift your attention and get involved, your initial instinct might be to yell -- but try to be responsive rather than reactive, Schafer recommends. After pulling over, matter-of-factly let your kids know it's unsafe for you to drive while they're fighting, saying something like, "I understand you're upset, but I can't go anywhere until you calm down. When you've worked it out together, I can drive again." Then sit quietly, read a book, or IM with friends until they've chilled out. By staying collected, you make it clear that you're not going to take sides, and you set an example for how your children should behave with each other. The immediate lesson you're trying to impart is this: Calm cars move; fighting cars stop. But the bigger message goes beyond driving. When parents respond to children in ways that make them feel heard and understood are going to learn to treat others that way as well. Originally published in the May 2012 issue of Parents magazine. Sponsored by: The Child Health SiteThe fast food industry is notorious for targeting children in their marketing campaigns. Kid's meals, kid-centric advertising, cartoon characters and endorsements from popular movies and TV shows mean a large portion of the industry's demographic is children. At a time when obesity is of utmost concern, it's important that our children grow up with healthy habits and nutritional guidance. While adults are able to think more critically about their food choices, children can be easily influenced by gimmicks and advertising. We need to call on the fast food industry to take responsibility for its role in childhood obesity. Ask major fast food corporations to cease marketing to children. By Karen Cicero from Parents Magazine
With schools focusing more on critical thinking, it’s time to nurture this crucial skill. While learning a social-studies unit about the Revolutionary War, a student in Lisa Wilson’s fourth-grade class at Arroyo Seco Elementary School, in Livermore, California, asked: “Why did people want to fight for the loyalists?” Wilson’s response: “What do you think?” She then instructed her students to pair with classmates to discuss the topic and present their ideas. Like a growing number of schools, Arroyo Seco allows its students’ curiosity to drive the lessons. The teachers also downplay memorizing facts. This approach is just one component of a bigger educational concept called critical thinking. Although it has been the subject of educational conferences for nearly 35 years, the movement has recently picked up steam. “This way of learning encourages children to become investigators, which helps their creativity and innovation blossom,” says Amy Seely Flint, Ph.D., professor of education at Georgia State University, in Atlanta. And you can boost this skill at home. Help Her Strategize Do you swoop in when your child isn’t sure about what her homework assignment is? Come up with a plan if she has to attend a friend’s birthday party and play a soccer match the same day? If so, you’re not helping. “Critical thinkers solve problems more easily, and kids will never be good at coming up with solutions if we don’t give them practice,” says Wilson. Instead of offering ideas, ask your child what she thinks would be a good fix. If she’s stumped, encourage her to consider whether a friend might have the same homework assignment or to figure out how long it takes to get from the party place to the soccer field. Find Books With a Cliff-Hanger Finale Stories with an ambiguous ending inspire kids to analyze more than ones that have an expected conclusion, says Dr. Flint. Examples include The Watsons Go to Birmingham, The Giver, and Black and White; read them with your child, and then ask him if there are any clues within the text or his own experiences that hint at what might have happened. You can also steer him to a series to help him anticipate what might transpire in the next installment. Some that fit the bill besides Harry Potter: The Chronicles of Narnia, Percy Jackson & The Olympians, and The School for Good and Evil. Also look for apps, like Sock Puppets (free, iTunes) and Comic Life ($5, iTunes) that inspire kids to create their own stories. Expand Her Thought Process Schools that emphasize critical thinking want kids to consider different points of view. “I often break up my second-grade class into small groups,” says Aimee Brenn, a teacher in Boston. “Kids this age seem more willing to express their opinions with a few classmates rather than in front of everyone, so the discussion is richer.” Help your child seek out diverse opinions. Look for articles that contain both the “pro” and the “con” of a subject. And at gatherings with family and friends, pick a relatable topic (such as whether schools should have a dress code) and suggest that your child solicit opinions. Discuss the News Current events are a natural way to engage your kid in a conversation that can easily go beyond the “yes” or “no” responses he tends to give at this age, says Kitty Rotella, Ed.D., principal of St. Mark’s Episcopal School in Fort Lauderdale. Visit kid-focused news websites, such as magazines.scholastic.com or timeforkids.com, and find some articles to look at together. “News sites often raise a lot of questions for our family to talk through,” says Heather Marzano, whose daughter, Sophia, is a fourth-grade student at St. Mark’s. “The other day, we read about people who were looting from a store—and then we explored the reasons why they might be doing it.” Look Back “Reflecting on successes and failures is a big part of building critical thinking skills,” notes Rachel Griffin, head of the Lower School at Léman Manhattan Preparatory School, in New York City. However, helping kids get in a reflective mind-set may require a little prompting: When your child makes a craft, builds a Lego tower, or reorganizes his game collection, probe him during the process—when he can still implement ideas—and afterward. Then ask him what worked and what he wished he hadn’t done, so this thought process comes more naturally at school—and any time he’s in a pickle. http://www.parents.com/kids/education/elementary-school/how-to-raise-a-kid-who-thinks-critically/ A new clinical report from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) urges parents to talk to their kids about the dangers of drinking.
By Caitlin St John Alcohol is the most abused substance among U.S. teens, and once kids enter high school, the usage rates increase dramatically. Approximately 79 percent of teens have tried alcohol by the time they enter 12th grade. A new clinical report from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has set out to pinpoint risk factors and prevent binge drinking with expert advice. The report suggests that parents should begin talking to their kids about drinking at an early age — even as young as 9 years old. Although the threat of drinking may not be immediate, this is when children begin developing impressions about alcohol consumption—and you may be surprised by how early some adolescents are introduced to alcohol: Last year, one in nine 8th graders reported having been drunk at least one time. Parents can use real life situations or scenarios that appear on TV in order to begin the conversation about the dangers associated with drinking. Teens who choose to drink tend to resort to binge drinking, making it even more crucial for parents to start an open dialogue. Additionally, the AAP says that parents should not allow teenagers to drink in their own home, and parents should monitor their own drinking habits—as 80 percent of adolescents report that their parents are the number one influence when it comes to whether or not they drink. "Kids do listen to them ... even though they might pretend they don't," said Lorena M. Siqueira, M.D., M.S.P.H., FAAP, a member of the AAP's Committee on Substance Abuse, in a press release. Caitlin St John is an Editorial Assistant for Parents.com who splits her time between New York City and her hometown on Long Island. Follow her on Twitter: @CAITYstjohn Alcohol is the most abused substance among U.S. teens, and once kids enter high school, the usage rates increase dramatically. Approximately 79 percent of teens have tried alcohol by the time they enter 12th grade. A new clinical report from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has set out to pinpoint risk factors and prevent binge drinking with expert advice. The report suggests that parents should begin talking to their kids about drinking at an early age — even as young as 9 years old. Although the threat of drinking may not be immediate, this is when children begin developing impressions about alcohol consumption—and you may be surprised by how early some adolescents are introduced to alcohol: Last year, one in nine 8th graders reported having been drunk at least one time. Parents can use real life situations or scenarios that appear on TV in order to begin the conversation about the dangers associated with drinking. Teens who choose to drink tend to resort to binge drinking, making it even more crucial for parents to start an open dialogue. Additionally, the AAP says that parents should not allow teenagers to drink in their own home, and parents should monitor their own drinking habits—as 80 percent of adolescents report that their parents are the number one influence when it comes to whether or not they drink. "Kids do listen to them ... even though they might pretend they don't," said Lorena M. Siqueira, M.D., M.S.P.H., FAAP, a member of the AAP's Committee on Substance Abuse, in a press release. Caitlin St John is an Editorial Assistant for Parents.com who splits her time between New York City and her hometown on Long Island. Follow her on Twitter: @CAITYstjohn http://www.parents.com/health/parents-news-now/when-should-you-talk-to-your-kids-about-alcohol/?sssdmh=dm17.883408&esrc=nwpdbk022716&scrlybrkr When and how do you teach kids about money? Check out this timeline that starts during preschool and ends during high school.
Written by LearnVest Whether or not your child's idea of a fun toy is a cash register and fake coins, the fact remains that as a parent, it's your job to talk about financial responsibility with your kid. But how young is too young to talk about budgeting or, say, credit reports? After all, we don't want them to grow up and start hiding money under their futons. We tapped Erica Sandberg, national personal finance expert and author ofExpecting Money: The Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families, to help us lay out money milestones for every age. "It's important to remember that every child grows and matures at a different rate," Sandberg says. "But if you stick with this general guideline, you'll be off to a great start -- and you won't miss any important topics."Age 3: Practice WaitingAt this age, kids should be learning about patience, and how to respond when they don't get something they want right away. The simple lesson of delayed gratification will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Activity: Tell your toddler that you'll give him a cookie now if he wants it, but you'll give him two cookies if he waits an extra ten minutes. See what he chooses and try to encourage him to wait for the extra cookie. Lesson Learned: Be patient and wait for a bigger payoff, rather than always going for instant gratification. Age 4: Go Over CountingYour kid won't understand the finances behind money at this age, but he should be good at counting and basic addition. So, this is the year to start linking those budding math skills to the concept of money. Activity: Give your child a mix of coins and have her start by counting how many there are. Each week, introduce a new coin with its name ("this is called a quarter") and have her practice picking it out of a pile. Once she's learned all of the coin names, have her separate the pile into all of the different types, and keep growing the pile each week to escalate the challenge. Lesson Learned: The names and sizes of each coin (plus math practice). Age 5: Associate "No" With SpendingKindergarten is when peer pressure starts to rear its ugly head, so stop the peer-inspired begging for stuff ("but Tommy has one!") before it even starts. Activity: Tell your kid that you can't buy everything you want, so you have to choose the items that are most important to you. The next time your kid sees two things he wants at the store, make him choose just one. It can be just as hard for moms to say no as it is for kids to hear it. Lesson Learned: It costs money to buy things, so you can't always get everything you want. Age 6: Start Giving AllowanceThis is the year of "make it work." Many experts advise starting kids with an allowance around age six, which means that if they want something just for fun, it's up to them to save and figure out how they'll get it. Activity: Start giving your child an allowance on a weekly basis. The exact amount will vary depending on your situation and personal history, but a rule of thumb is a dollar per year of age, so you might want to start your kid with about $6 a week. Note that some experts say allowance shouldn't be tied to chores: It's a tool to teach your kid about managing money, not to pay her for household duties she should be doing anyway. Get answers to any other allowance questions you might have at LearnVest.com (see Resources below). Lesson Learned: If you want something, figure out how much it will cost and save up. More LearnVest.com Resources:Age 7: "What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?"This is about the age when teachers start to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. That makes this a good time to talk to your child about career and work. You should cover the fact that, though you go to work to earn money, if you're lucky, you also enjoy it. Try to instill positive feelings toward work and earning an income. Activity: Ask your kid what he wants to be someday, and have him draw a picture representing his dream job. Do this activity with him, sketching out a picture of you and your job (it doesn't need to be artistic). Explain what you do at work, why you chose that field and why you like it. Lesson Learned: People work to make money, but they should try to choose their jobs based on what they enjoy. Age 8: Show What Household Things CostBy this age, your kid's understanding of addition and subtraction should be advanced enough that she can easily understand the broad concept of money coming in and going out. So, this is a good age to explain that, although you make money at work, you have to spend some of it on bills. Activity: From now on, let your child sit next to you while you pay the bills. These numbers -- especially rent or mortgage -- will be too big for her to thoroughly comprehend, but you can let her help you with some of the math operations to balance your checkbook, like adding up the cents column in your transaction ledger. Lesson Learned: Adults have to pay bills, but that's not a problem as long as they save up money from their paychecks. Age 9: Open a Savings AccountBy age 9, kids are old enough (and self-possessed enough) to understand the concept of saving money for items they need and want. This is the right age not only to set up a savings account but also to include your kid in the action so he feels ownership over it. Activity: Open a custodial savings account with about $30 (see Resources below), and tell him you've done so. Don't let him withdraw money at will -- if he wants to save up for a big purchase like a bike, he should talk to you about it -- but tell him that you'll take him to the bank to make deposits whenever he wants. For every dollar he contributes, consider offering to match it. For more tips to get your kid interested in saving, visit LearnVest.com (see Resources below). Lesson Learned: It's fun to save money! More LearnVest.com Resources:
Activity: Take all of your cards out of your wallet and go over which one is for debit, which is for credit, etc. Explain the differences between them. Then, when you're at the grocery store, let her swipe your card for you. Point out what that means for your money: If it's a debit card, she's deducting money from your checking account. If it's a credit card, you might want to say something like, "Swiping this equals borrowing money from the company that gave it to me -- if I don't pay it back on time, they'll charge me extra, but I always pay it back on time!" Lesson Learned: How debit and credit cards work, and the importance of always paying back credit cards in full and on time. Age 11: Immunize Against AdvertisingMiddle school is an era that's all about fitting in. At this age, kids are getting a ton of messages from all over the place, all about how they should do or buy certain things to be "cool." Take this time to bring your kid back to earth. Activity: Go through a magazine together and point out how many different ads there are for different brands. Take guesses at how much those advertisers paid for those ads, and explain that they're trying to manipulate the emotions of consumers to get them to buy more. Even things that are trendy are often cool because advertisers paid to make them seem cool. Do the same thing whenever you watch TV. Lesson Learned: Don't fall for the brand-name trap. Age 12: Demonstrate Wise PurchasesAs children start to reach puberty, they should start preparing to make their own wise purchasing decisions. Plus, within a few years they'll start settling into more adult sizes, so they should start discerning when to go cheap and when to buy quality items -- and how to identify that quality. Activity: Take your kid shopping. At the store, point out a cheaply-made object and a higher quality alternative. Explain how you tell the difference (the feel of fabric and cut; reputable brands, etc.) and when you choose the cheapest option or higher quality item. If you feel strongly about buying sustainable or eco-conscious products, explain what that means, how to identify those labels and why you're willing to sometimes spend more on them. (See Resources below to read a guide to conscious consumerism.) Lesson Learned: Price isn't always the determining factor in buying decisions -- the key is to choose smart purchases rather than just the nicest or the cheapest. More LearnVest.com Resources:Age 13: Interact With the Stock MarketBy now your kid will recognize these words when she hears them, either on the news or at school. Too many adults feel a total lack of confidence around money, so get your child in the habit of asking for clarification on financial concepts she doesn't understand rather than simply nodding along. Start by making this hard topic accessible. Activity: Tell your kid, "I invest my money in the stock market to help it grow; in the short term, there's the risk of losing money, but over the long-term it's one of the best ways to make the most of my money." Show her a historical graph of the S&P 500 (you don't have to tell her that name -- you can just call it "the market" for now) so she can see that, although the numbers sometimes dip, they tend to rise over time. If you want more guidance on these topics yourself, check out the LearnVest.com weekly newsletter, The Market by LearnVest (see Resources below). Lesson Learned: How the stock market works, what it is and why people invest in it. More LearnVest.com Resources:Age 14: Make Your Kid WorkAt this age, young teens start going out with their friends and spending money more independently than before. Allowance might no longer cover everything your kid wants, so, if that's the case, make him work for it. Activity: Whether it's by babysitting or mowing neighbors' lawns, let your kid feel his own power to make money and the freedom that comes from making his own spending decisions with that money. Emphasize the point with specific examples of how everything you buy can be measured with time. For example, if your teen wants a $120 sweater, explain that he'd have to babysit for 12 hours at $10 per hour to afford it. Lesson Learned: You have to work in order to get what you want... but if you do make money, you have a lot more options. Age 15: Open a Checking AccountOpen up a checking account for your kid as early as you beileve she'll be able to handle it. If she's responsible by nature, now's a good time to open an account where she can store her money and write checks. Do not add money to this account for her. She should seed this account from her savings or money from her after school job. Activity: For her to have an account in her name, you'll need to be a cosigner. You may need to sit down with a bank official to explain that you'd like to teach your kid financial independence as early as possible. Although you're a cosigner, let her know that she'll suffer her own consequences if she overspends from this account. Have her write checks for costs like her student activity fees, and sit down with her monthly to balance her checkbook. Lesson Learned: How to keep an eye on the bigger financial picture -- and how to manage a checking account. Age 16: Finding BalanceJunior year of high school is a pivotal time. Teens tend to be incredibly busy: sports, extracurricular activities, community service projects, AP classes. This is a good time for them to learn how not to lose their heads. After all, adults can also be overwhelmed by trying to balance work, outside projects and a personal life. And finances are often one of the first things to be pushed aside when you're under stress. Activity: If you suspect your teen is becoming overwhelmed, set aside an afternoon to find a solution. Make some hot chocolate, bake some cookies and go over his activity schedule together. Figure out whether he can shift around any obligations, and whether his schedule is unhealthily busy. Talk about how he handles stress, and what he does to relax. Lesson Learned: Everyone has limits, and you can push only so far. Money is great, but it's worthless if you're not leading a balanced life. Age 17: Explain Credit ReportsYour teen may be getting ready to go to college, but even if she isn't, she'll need to understand the ideas behind credit. Go over this with her now, before the bad habits of her peers get ingrained in her. Activity: Look up her credit report and score with her online (even if she doesn't have any credit yet, it's a good exercise to show her the steps involved -- if that's the case, you can just look up your own score). For a step-by-step checklist on how to do that, go to LearnVest.com (see Resources below). Ensure she understands the importance of keeping her credit score high by paying off every bill in full and on time. She'll need to develop good credit to eventually get loans for things she wants, like a house or a car, and it takes many years to develop a good track record. Lesson Learned: How to check your credit report and score, and why they're important. More LearnVest.com Resources:Age 18: Decide on Student or General LoansBefore your teen heads off to college or into the working world, he needs to fully understand how loans work -- he's borrowing money to use now, but he'll be paying interest on that money even while he pays it back. You've already covered credit reports; follow up that lesson with the importance of always paying account minimums, and, whenever possible, even more than that. Activity: Sit down together to go over student loans (see Resources below). Talk about whether your young adult will be taking on this financial burden, and whether you'll be helping. Both of you should understand the terms of any and all loans before signing them. For example, verify that he doesn't accept any student loans that start charging interest while he's still in college. Together, come up with a solid plan for saving money while in college and repaying those loans afterward. You can find more info on student loans from www.finaid.org/loans. Lesson Learned: Student loans can be a huge burden, and the worst thing to do would be to bomb your credit score in the process. Before entering into a loan agreement, make sure you understand all of the ins and outs, and that you're choosing the best loans for your needs. Originally published on LearnVest.com; republished with permission. Copyright © 2012 Meredith Corporation. More LearnVest.com Resources: By Kelley King Heyworth from Parents Magazine Roughly 1 in 3 kids in America is overweight or obese, but millions more “borderline” kids are on the cusp of a weight problem and need our help just as much. Doctors and proactive parents share their advice about how to fight fat without shaking a child’s self-confidence. A good mom doesn’t make a big deal out of it when her little girl carries a few extra pounds. That’s what Rebecca Lawson thought to herself when she first noticed that her daughter, Grace, then nearly 3, seemed to be a bit heavier, and a lot hungrier, than most of her preschool peers. “Grace had always been somewhere on the higher end of the weight charts,” she recalls. “But the portions were becoming out of control. Rather than eating just a few carrots, she’d eat the whole bag—and a container of hummus too.” A former dancer who was well aware of how body-image hangups can lead to disordered eating, Lawson didn’t intervene—until Grace had her 3-year-old well visit. The pediatrician checked Grace’s BMI (body mass index, which shows how heavy a child is relative to her height) and revealed that she was around the 80th percentile, just five points shy of “overweight,” according to growth charts. “The doctor said that she was one of those borderline kids who could either stay at a high but normal weight or cross over into having a weight problem,” says Lawson. The pediatrician preferred to try to head off a potential weight problem early on. To this mom from outside Boston, it just made good sense. Never mentioning the word weight, Lawson started taking subtle steps to help Grace be healthier. She talked to her daughter about recognizing her hunger cues—and to stop eating before getting that uncomfortable, “belly-bursting” feeling. Then, after realizing that Grace’s dance and gymnastics classes involved more sitting around than heart-pumping activity, she started encouraging Grace—as well as her younger son and her husband—to join her in backyard soccer games, weekend hikes, and bike rides. Today, Lawson is happy with her family’s healthier habits. But she’s hesitant to tell too many other parents what inspired them (in fact she asked that we use pseudonyms for this article). “At parties, parents automatically give Grace a second piece of cake when she asks for it. They’ll say, ‘She’s a growing girl. Feed her!’ You don’t want to be the fanatical mom, but having a child who’s on the verge of a weight problem but not obviously obese is sort of a lonely place to be.” Indeed, in the public conversation about the obesity crisis, you don’t hear much about kids who are simply a little chubby. Media reports and political campaigns focus on the children who are clinically obese (with a BMI above the 95th percentile) and, to a slightly lesser extent, overweight (at or above the 85th percentile). Each year, efforts to help these kids—through behavioralintervention programs, medications, and treatments for weight-related health problems—cost the U.S. around $14 billion. But returns on this investment are scant. While childhood obesity has recently dipped in certain subgroups, such as low-income preschoolers, it remains stubbornly high overall. To make a real impact, say many experts, we need to focus on children like Grace, often referred to in research circles as having a “highnormal” BMI. These kids may not look worrisomely heavy, but they’re at risk for becoming so. Children age 41/2 and under who have a BMI between the 75th and 85th percentile are six times more likely to become overweight or obese by age 12 than kids with a BMI in the 50th percentile or lower, according to a study from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. By then, the slippery slope becomes even steeper: 8 in 10 kids who are overweight or obese upon entering adolescence will remain so as grown-ups. It’s much easier to fix a budding weight issue than an established one, so intervening before these kids slide into a long-term problem is crucial. “This is true not only because bad habits are harder to break, but also because of the way that obesity alters your metabolism,” explains Stephen Cook, M.D., a pediatrician at Golisano Children’s Hospital, in Rochester, New York, and associate director of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) Institute for Healthy Childhood Weight. “The longer you have excess body fat, the more your body will fight to keep your metabolism at that new ‘set point.’ ” In revised guidelines to help combat obesity published last summer, the AAP emphasized the importance of identifying kids early. Describing the success of treatment programs for heavy kids as “modest,” the AAP report suggested that obesity-prevention interventions should begin before a child approaches a BMI in the 85th percentile. “The earlier you start, the better,” agrees Parents advisor David Ludwig, M.D., Ph.D., who runs the New Balance Foundation Obesity Prevention Center at Boston Children’s Hospital. “Children have a unique advantage over adults: They’re still growing, so they don’t have to lose weight to grow out of a minor problem; they just need to slow their rate of weight gain.” For a generation of parents reared on body-acceptance messages, the idea of red-flagging a little childhood chub may not sit right at first. My own 7-year-old’s BMI percentile in the low 90s caused some concern at a recent well visit, and it initially struck me as extreme to swap his favorite chips out of his lunch box or scrap dessert because of what looked to me like a little leftover baby fat. But the science shows us that small steps like these may be the most important investment we can make in our kids’ future. Big weight problems come with big health problems. Obese teens are more likely to have pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, fatty liver disease, bone and joint problems, and sleep apnea. Adult obesity is linked to heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, stroke, arthritis, and several types of cancer. And despite how common it is, “being fat” is the primary reason kids are bullied, according to University of Connecticut researchers. This may be one reason why childhood obesity is strongly linked with low selfesteem and depression in adulthood. “Obesity has now surpassed tobacco as the biggest threat to overall well-being,” says Dr. Ludwig. “Children are beginning life at greater risk for disease than any prior generation. Primary prevention is the key to reversing that.” Luci Gutiérrez He Isn’t Heavy... or Is He?It can be tricky to differentiate between a child who’s at risk for obesity and one who’s naturally big-boned or muscular. Studies show that we are poor judges of our own child’s weight status, even when a problem is seemingly obvious. In a recent study published in Childhood Obesity, researchers found that more than 96 percent of parents of overweight preschoolers and 78 percent of parents of obese preschoolers thought their child was the “right” size. Chalk it up to shifting perceptions. There are more heavy people in all walks of life, and many things from clothing to stadium seats are getting roomier to accommodate them. “Overweight has become so common that there’s a tendency for parents to view children carrying excessive weight as ‘normal,’ ” says Dr. Ludwig. “So many parents discount significant problems—it’s even harder for them to acknowledge developing ones.” Enter your pediatrician. In its newest recommendations, the AAP calls on pediatricians to calculate and plot BMI in children every year from age 2 onward, and to counsel families of kids who are overweight or at risk. While a high BMI alone doesn’t necessarily signal a health hazard—certain tall, muscled kids can healthily hover in a high percentile—it’s an important and easy-to-obtain screening tool. “Pediatricians need to look not just at BMI, but at other factors,” says Stephen Pont, M.D., M.P.H., medical director of the Texas Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Childhood Obesity at Dell Children’s Medical Center of Central Texas, in Austin. “If a child is quickly crossing BMI percentiles, that could signal that he’s changed his eating or physical-activity practices. Having parents with obesity, excessive screen time, disordered sleep, and low household income also increase the risk of obesity.” And yet recent data show that less than half of pediatricians regularly plot a child’s BMI, let alone counsel parents about risk factors. Some pediatricians aren’t properly trained in obesity or feel they don’t have the time in a short appointment to discuss weight, says Dr. Ludwig. Also, weight remains an incredibly touchy topic. When moms on parenting message boards report being told by a pediatrician that their child’s BMI is too high, “Find a new doctor!” is a common retort. One of the most controversial issues in education right now is school-based BMI screening, which many states have adopted to alert families who may not regularly see a pediatrician. What began as a well-intentioned initiative has become a lightning rod for criticism. Parents’ chief complaint is how the results, often called “Fitnessgrams,” are stuck in kids’ backpacks rather than mailed home. “Everybody is beautiful,” reads one online petition to the U.S. Board of Education to stop weight checks in schools. “Students should not be told you have to look like ‘this’ or you fail.” Never Too Early Ideally, say doctors, we should be taking steps to ward off weight problems well before children are able to read and react to a Fitnessgram. In fact, the latest research suggests that the earliest interventions may have the greatest impact. Along with insisting on regular BMI checks through your child’s pediatrician, you can follow these tips to help lower your own child’s risk at any age. BABIES Many doctors think obesity prevention begins in the womb. Overweight women are more likely to have bigger-than-normal babies, and those infants are at high risk for growing up to be obese. “It appears that some degree of genetic programming can set a child up for obesity,” says Dr. Pont. A report last year from the University of Colorado School of Medicine revealed that stem cells in donated umbilical cords from babies of obese mothers that were cultured in a lab were more likely to accumulate fat than were cells from babies of normal-weight moms. Luckily, there are things bigger moms can do to help protect their babies. A 2014 Australian study showed that overweight or obese women who faithfully followed a nutrition and exercise program during pregnancy were less likely to have oversize infants. Breastfed babies tend to be at healthier weights as they grow. But whether you offer breast or formula, resist force-feeding. “It’s important, especially during this age of distraction, that we tune in to our babies, and watch their cues,” says Lara Field, R.D., founder of FEED, a private nutrition-consultation practice in Chicago. “When they turn away and seem less engaged in eating, they’re done.” Luci Gutiérrez TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS This may be the “sweet spot” for reducing obesity risk. When a 2- to 5-year-old develops a habit—good or bad—it tends to stick. The recent reduction in obesity levels among low-income preschoolers can be explained, in part, to the simple, healthy habits that are promoted in federal initiatives like Head Start, in which preschoolers typically have plenty of outdoor playtime and limited access to snack foods and screen time. To help your child, Field recommends you allow him to stop eating when he’s full, and set firm snack- and mealtimes. When Katie Murdock discovered her 21/2-yearold daughter’s weight gain was outpacing her height, she looked closely at her diet. “She was eating all the time!” she says. After Murdock added more fiber and protein to her daughter’s meals, she complained less about being hungry. “Instead of just eating a huge pile of strawberries for breakfast, she’d have berries with yogurt and a few tablespoons of granola,” says Murdock. “It kept her satisfied, and she began eating less throughout the day.” Consider serving low-fat milk or water instead of juice. Fruit juice makes up 44 percent of preschoolers’ beverage intake, on average, though pediatricians recommend that kids under 6 drink no more than 4 to 6 ounces per day. To make water more appealing, Rebecca Lawson adds sprigs of mint and serves it in a glass pitcher. She also displays cut-up fruit and veggies on a pretty white platter—it helps compete with brightly colored, character-laden packaged snack foods. “When I take time to prepare healthy treats in a fun way, my kids are always more interested in them,” she says. Above all, follow the healthy habits you encourage in your child. “This is an age when kids absolutely look to Mom and Dad for cues,” says Saba Khan, M.D., medical director of the Healthy Weight Program at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “If you’re drinking cans of diet soda and insisting your child drink tap water, that’s not going to go over well. Ideally, every member of the family should follow the same food rules, regardless of their size—and the whole family will be healthier for it.” BIGGER KIDS Older children who are at risk for or who already have a weight problem can learn to practice better habits. “I always tell my patients that it’s never too early nor too late to make a healthy change,” says Dr. Pont. (The same goes for parents who might want to work toward a healthier weight alongside their child: “I’ve seen adults adopt relatively few smarter choices and lose a substantial amount of weight and keep it off,” Dr. Ludwig adds.)Two big non-dietary changes that can help protect older kids: dialing back on screen time and increasing sleep time. For instance, it’s been well documented that as television watching increases, so does weight, and that’s especially true for children who have a TV set in their bedroom. And newer research shows that getting too little sleep can lead to too many pounds; sleep duration affects the hormones that regulate hunger, and it may also make kids too tired to be active during the day. Whether your child is overweight, obese, or at risk for becoming so, it’s key to find a balance between encouraging healthier habits and not making her anxious about her size. Erika, a mom from Phoenix who has an 8-year-old son with a BMI that fluctuates between the 70th and 90th percentile, has made sure that she offers only milk or water and has established “dessert nights” rather than feeding her kids treats every day. However, when her son came home from school worried that he was “fatter than his friends,” Erika focused on the positive. “I told him that the most important thing is that he has healthy habits, no allergies, is rarely sick, and is able to keep up with anyone on the playground and swim in the pool for hours,” she says. “I want him to know that I see his whole self—and that I want his whole self to be happy and healthy.” Grace Lawson, now 7, is around the 75th percentile BMI, which is a healthy number for her body type. She still loves food—but she has a slightly different relationship with it since her mom started talking, back in Grace’s Pre-K days, about the fact that food is fuel. “I always told her, ‘You need just the right amount of good food to run well, just like a car,” says Lawson. “She’s now more conscious about what she eats than other kids her age. It took some hard work early on, but she’s learning how to make her own good choices.” http://www.parents.com/kids/eating-disorders/childhood-obesity/is-your-child-in-the-obesity-danger-zone/?sssdmh=dm17.877610&esrc=nwpdbk021516&scrlybrkr_ |
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March 2018
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